Tag Archives: republicans

The passage of “Obamacare” highlights republican disconnect with reality.

30 Jun

Last week Obama’s healthcare reform legislation was upheld by the Supreme Court. CNN and Fox, showed just how little facts matter to them in their rush to be first to break the story by neglecting to read the whole document before declaring the legislation dead. Meanwhile, republicans showed just how little facts matter to them by promptly exploding upon hearing that the legislation passed.

Some republicans hilariously threatened to move to Canada as a result of this ruling. Little do they know, Canada has universal healthcare much stronger than anything passed in Obama’s legislation.

Romney promptly came out and denounced the legislation, vowing to repeal it on his first day in office.

Which is hilarious because in 2006 it was his idea:

In fact, the whole notion of an individual mandate, the government forcing you to buy something against your will, was originally the brain-child of the ultra-conservative Heritage Foundation.

You see, the anti-free market notion of being forced to buy health insurance was developed by conservatives. Obama’s legislation was crafted by the health insurance industry. It spoon feeds them 30 million new customers who are required by law to buy from them.  Back in 2009, when all this was starting, 77% of the country supported having a public (government) option to generate competition and help keep prices down. Competition would have been bad for health insurance industry profits, so they made sure to take that option off the table. Instead we got this watered down legislation. Yes, it’s better than nothing at all, assuming it lives to take full effect, but what we needed was real systemic reform and this is not it.

But you see, conservatives are masters of compartmentalization and ignoring cognitive dissonance brought on by hypocrisy. None of the above mentioned facts will have an effect on them. They will continue to scream about the evils of making sure everyone has access to health care, and how this whole thing is liberal big government taking over their lives. This just goes to further highlight what I’ve been saying is the rosetta stone to understanding conservatives:

Objective reality and facts don’t matter. Narrative does.

In other news, republicans ban scientists and city planners from discussing sea level rise.

Permits, protests, and pepper spray

19 Nov

In the above video you can clearly see a police officer walk up to a group of students who are sitting down, and casually hose them with pepper spray. Unfortunately, this seems to be a common police response to peaceful protesters. Some of the more famous victims include an 84 year old woman, a 19 year old pregnant woman, a priest, and a small group of women who were just standing there before being penned in by police and misted with perfume de fuego.

A common argument I’ve personally seen and heard used to defend the officers is “They are just following orders…” and “the protesters did not have permission to be there.” Since when did the Nuremberg defense excuse someone from their behavior? Secondly, requiring “permission” to protest defeats the whole point of protesting. No shit we don’t have your permission to protest you, we’re protesting specifically because of you!

State and local governments have long been employing various tactics to crack down on dissent. Let’s not be coy here people. Bloomberg didn’t really send in the storm troopers to zuccotti park because he was concerned for the health and safety of the protesters occupying it. No, he wanted them gone and just needed some bullshit excuse since expressly crushing a protest because you don’t like the protesters is bad press.

No, permits and requiring permission from the authorities before you protest violates the freedom of assembly. Some might argue that permits and permission are needed so business as usual isn’t disrupted. Well what if the point IS to disrupt business as usual? What if the point IS to bring the whole system to a screeching halt? To make people be inconvenienced? What? No? We can’t have our protest in the first place? I’m sorry, you seem to be missing the point of the first amendment. It’s not there to protect people you agree with, it’s there to protect those you disagree with, no matter how fiercely you disagree with them.

Lastly, I just have to wonder about the contrast to how the police are treating the OWS protesters and the Tea Party.

The OWSers tend to be more liberal.

The Tea Partiers tend to be very conservative.

The OWSers show up with drums and tents.

The Tea Partiers show up with guns.

The OWSers protest the deregulated banks and corporations that destroyed the world economy and doomed my generation to a life of wage slavery, debt, and unemployment.

The Tea Partiers protest the half-assed regulation of the above mentioned banks and corporations along with universal healthcare.

The OWSers are a grass roots movement with no leaders.

The Tea Partiers are bank rolled by some of the largest corporations in the country.

The police do nothing to the Tea Partiers.

The police protect and serve the shit out of the OWSers.

I really have to wonder, how would everyone who is defending the police brutality respond if instead of liberals, the police were crushing the Tea Party? I bet they would be singing a different tune…

There is nothing Obama can do right…

5 May

In the eyes of republicans, there is NOTHING Obama can do right. They refuse to give him credit for anything, no matter how much they might like it. It’s like an abusive relationship and Obama’s a hurt dog that keeps coming back to its master, begging to please, only to get beaten senseless at every trick preformed perfectly for the master’s amusement. I’m starting to think the president is somehow is mentally unstable.

Osama bin Laden is dead. Hunting him was one of the primary reasons (at least, officially) for why we invaded Afghanistan a DECADE ago. We hunted him down and killed him under Obama’s administration. But instead of making this an American victory, some conservatives are hell bent on making this a republican victory. (After all republicans = America and thus anything not republican ≠ America)

Lately I’ve heard a lot of talk along the lines of “Well, Obama’s not really responsible for killing Osama bin Laden since he wasn’t the one who pulled the trigger….”

You know what? If you follow that “logic” Osama bin Laden wasn’t really responsible for 9/11 because he didn’t fly the planes into the buildings… (But what am I say? Screw logic)

But now a lot of republicans are attacking Obama because apparently Osama was unarmed when we killed him. “How horrible was it that we killed an unarmed Osama bin Laden?!?!? The president is an evil evil man!”

I dare you, I fucking dare you to tell me republicans would be saying the same thing if Bush was the one who had an unarmed Osama bin Laden shot. There is no fucking way in hell republicans would be giving Bush shit for shooting Osama. They’d all be like “AMERICA!!!!! FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!111″

But no, the president is evil for killing the most evil man in the world simply because he puts a D by his name.

“You know, this really isn’t Obama’s victory because Bush was the one who started this whole thing. It’s really because of Bush’s policies that we’ve caught and killed Osama….”

I wish I was kidding, but that’s seriously what some of them are saying….

First off, Clinton (D) started the hunt for Obama before Bush ever took office, before 9/11. (But conviently ignore that unless you want to try and blame 9/11 on Clinton’s failed attempts to find Osama, at which point you’d also be ignoring the fact that the worst terrorist attack in US history happened on a republican’s watch)

Secondly, you’ll try to take credit for killing Osama because of policies enacted by Bush, but you won’t take credit for the economy crashing because of policies made by the exact same president?!?!?!

(Are you beginning to see how their minds work?)

Republicans do everything perfectly, democrats do everything horribly. Whenever something bad happens while a republican is in power, it’s the democrat’s fault. Whenever something good happens, it’s to the republican’s credit.

It’s the exact same “logic” they apply to god. God is on our side. Whenever something good happens, god did it. Whenever something bad happens, it’s because of our sinfulness and not following god. Everything happens for a reason. A tornado hits a house and kills an entire family except for one small child, “It was a miracle that the child lived! Isn’t god amazing?!” (Nevermind the fact that god allowed the tornado that just killed everyone else in the family) The game is rigged so god can never be put in a position of blame. Same is true for the republicans.

Not surprisingly, I’ve heard a lot of people attribute our killing Osama to god’s divine help. Yes laddies and gentlemen, the very same god who stood there and watched as 3,000 men,women, and children were butchered has finally decided to help us find and kill the man responsible after 10 years, $1,500,000,000,000, and 1,000,000 war dead. God works in mysterious ways eh?

Why does it matter where you were born?

2 May

Last week Obama caved to the pressure of a growing number of wingnut conspiracy theorists who firmly believed his pregnant mother flew from the US to Kenya to give birth to him, and then immediately to Hawaii (the farthest state from Kenya, seriously! Florida was only a couple thousand miles closer) in order that her child could one day be president of the United States.

The fact is, this whole “birther” movement isn’t about Obama’s birth certificate. It never has been. If you read between the lines you’ll see that all this talk about where he was born is just thinly veiled racism. “Obama is a nigger, and niggers aren’t Americans.” It’s sad, but not surprising, that such a large chunk of conservatives have subscribed to this view. They, and they alone, are the true Americans, surrounded in a land of savages and heathens who would destroy their America.

But the fact that Obama isn’t white, and thus will never be a “real” American, aside, why does it matter where you are born? I’ve never understood people’s preoccupation with this. I feel like it’s some pseudo-spiritual bullshit like the idea that the stars you were born under dictate your personality. (Horoscopes)

It does not matter where your mother squeezed you out of her vagina.

Back in World War Two, Nazi propaganda encouraged young couples to have sex in particular cemeteries. The idea was that if the woman conceived a child from the encounter, the spirits of the ancient German folk heroes buried there would enter the womb and thus be given a new body when born.

Believing that where you are born matters is no more bat-shit crazy than believing ancient ghosts will enter your baby if you fuck in a cemetery. The whole notion of “where you’re born matters” revolves around this idea that some “spirit” or quality of the place imprinting itself on you at birth.

I was born in Texas. Therefore I must be a real Texan right? Hell no. I was there for about a year, all of which I don’t remember. I don’t hunt, I don’t drive a truck, I’m not religious, I don’t have a cowboy hat or boots, I don’t have a Texas accent, I don’t like spicy food, and I’m not a republican. Nothing about me is Texan.

Land is land is land. There is no mystical qualities about one place that makes it different from another. The only difference is in weather and vegetation. Last time I checked, the 5 day forecast and what types of berries grow outside don’t effect a person’s personality.

What matters more than where you entered the world is where you spend time growing up. The culture you’re raised has a large impact on your personality and world view. Someone raised in Saudi Arabian culture is going to be molded by that culture. The physical land surrounding that culture doesn’t do the molding, the people living there do. Yes, geography impacts culture, but none the less, you’re not being raised by the rivers and the trees.

A perfect example would be the children of immigrants. They may be born in another country, but their parents are still the ones who raise them. Depending on how strict the parents are about keeping the traditions and culture from their homeland, the child may or may not grow up to resemble that culture.

So in essence, it doesn’t matter where you’re born. Obama could have been born in Japan, it wouldn’t make a lick of difference. He was raised in the US and thus he is American. Oh, and little know fact: John McCain was born in Panama, which is now not part of America.

Conservatives and attack legislation

24 Mar

Something I’ve noticed about conservatives: They have no qualms using their power for pursuing political vendettas. What do I mean by that? Well look at NPR, the last bastion of independent, objective, and civil news. It has a wide variety of extremely educational programing. Unfortunately reality has a liberal bias. (Conservatives deny that reality exists so to them they just see the liberal bias despite the fact that the numbers and evidence side with liberals) And so the conservatives are on a war path to kill NPR. They feel it’s liberal and so it must die. They seem to do this with any program they feel isn’t conservative enough.

Yet the funniest thing is how they act when liberals even think about doing something similar. They throw the biggest fit and cry foul! It’s fucking hilarious, those disingenuous bastards. Why can conservatives get away with this and not liberals? Human inertia again…

Conservatives and cognitive dissonance

22 Feb

Long ago I came to the conclusion that by in large many conservatives have no problem with cognitive dissonance. It’s like hypocrisy is the new black.

Some examples?

Conservatives love to claim they’re all about personal liberty and defending the constitution. You would expect that following that they would be staunch opponents of anyone who sought to violate the constitution…right? That would make logical sense.

Well the other Saturday Ann Coulter, the darling of the right, spoke at CPAC, a huge right wing convention where she said “there should be more jailed journalists.” Now, one would expect a crowd of staunch personal liberty/constitution supporters to have shouted her off stage. Right? That would make sense. After all, jailing journalists is antithetical to the first amendment freedom of speech and just reeks of a totalitarian regime where personal liberty doesn’t exist. But you guessed it, and like you can see from the video, they gave her a roaring applause.

Or how about the conservative stance on personal liberty and how it relates to abortion, healthcare, and the death penalty? When liberals wanted a public option to create more competition in the market of healthcare (another thing conservatives claim to be all in favor of) the right went ballistic. They invented out of whole cloth the idea that the government would be making people’s health decisions for them, and boy how their blood did boil. They stood there with their stupid signs screaming about government intervention in their private health and then would turn around and tell you with s a straight face that they wanted big government to control women’s bodies and what a healthcare procedures a woman would have access to.

Abortion is one of their favorite topics. Ignoring the obvious hypocrisy of wanting big government to control women, they want to force the woman to have an unwanted child. They froth at the mouth about making the woman have the child, but they’re nowhere to be found when she finally does have the baby. They’re exactly like the dead beat boyfriends or rapists who got the women pregnant in the first place. When it comes time to be financially responsible for the upbringing of this child, they skip town.

Instead, the unwanted child grows up in a broken and unloving home where they inevitably turn to a life of crime. The conservatives then spend even more money on the prison system to jail the criminals they fought so hard to make sure were born. If they do anything really bad, the conservatives then want big government to step in and execute a private citizen. They’ve now gone full circle from wanting small government and life to wanting big government and death.  Just keep in mind, hypocrisy is the new black.

It’s a great time to be a conservative

7 Jan

Last Wednesday at noon the republicans took control of the house with the vow to slash domestic funding and decrease the federal deficit.  They came in with a strong list of new rules. One of the biggest changes was “Slash as you go” instead of “Pay as you go.” This means that for every dollar in government spending you add, you must slash a dollar somewhere else. They also forbade anything that would add to the deficit.

But these are republicans, rules? principles? You’ve got to be kidding. Cue massive hypocrisy.

The biggest target in republican’s cross-hairs is the weak sauce healthcare reform. Unfortunately for them, the Congressional Budget Office (the non-partisan organization that crunches the numbers for everything the government does or is considering doing) came out and stated that repealing the health care reform would add $143 billion onto the deficit. That’s a mathematical fact provided by an independent accounting organization.

But then again these are conservatives. Reality and facts are what you want them to be.

The new speaker of the house, republican John Boehner simply replied “The CBO is entitled to their opinion.” The republicans tacitly admitted they knew the CBO was right because they then passed one of their first acts: giving themselves and exemption to their rule of “slash as you go” so they could kill healthcare and add $143 billion to the deficit. Bravo…. (Oh, and don’t forget, even when they kill healthcare, the republicans are planning on keeping their free healthcare that they get as US congressmen.)

But healthcare hypocrisy is not the only reason to celebrate! The republicans plan on gutting every protective legislative body they can. The FDA regulates businesses that make sure the food your family eats or the drugs you take aren’t poison? Kill it. The EPA regulates corporations that would dump toxic sludge in your neighborhood rivers? Kill it.

Yes ladies and gentlemen, they are going after protective legislation with a battle ax.  The goal is to put us back to the turn of the 20th century, where you were either dirt poor or one of those robber barons, where snake oil salesmen went from town to town bilking people of their money in return for poison, where tainted meat and vegetables made their way easily onto your dinner table, where environmental protection was only a dream. This is the goal.

Speaking of environmental protection, it’s official, there will be no improvement in the fight against global warming; the most dangerous and pressing issue facing us today. If we do nothing we may all die. We may very well push our planet out of the the knife edge thin “Goldilocks zone” where the conditions for life are just right, into a run away greenhouse effect that is currently cooking the planet Venus.

But that won’t happen. You know why? JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yep, denying reality (be it scientific or what the CBO says the numbers are) is mandatory for membership in the republican club house. A shinning example is John Shimkus. Johhny boy is trying to become the chairman of the committee responsible for oversight on those groups that regulate pollution, toxic waste, and the greenhouse gases that are cooking our planet. But have no fear! Even though all the observable evidence tells us that we are racing for the cliff edge, nothing bad will happen. Jesus won’t let it. God made this earth for us and he wouldn’t make it so we could corrupt it…. (original sin? releasing evil into the world? No? Guess he’s not big on reading his own book, but then again republican and hypocrisy are synonymous)

But the party continues! Now that the republicans are in control of the house they are promising non-stop investigations and witch hunts, even against organizations that don’t exist anymore.

Yet do you want to know the #1 reason right now is an amazing time to be a conservative? The icing on the cake? The piñata of goodies?

Because Obama is your bitch and no matter how bad your policies fuck up the country and the future of the world, ultimately he is president and there is a “D” by his name.  Obama just hired William Daley to be his chief of staff, replacing Rahm Emanuel. (Rahm who said liberals, ie the people who voted for Obama and make up the democratic base, were “fucking retarded.”) If you think Rahm is right wing and pro-establishment, get a load of Daley! Daley’s a right wing corporatist who works for JP Morgan and who wants to kill the consumer protection agency! There is no fucking way Obama is a liberal or has any intention of fighting the status quo! He is the status quo.

So republicans are vicariously living through Obama while pushing through their “kill all government agencies that don’t help the rich get richer” policies that, if they fail or fuck everything up, they can easily lay at the feet of the democrats just in time for the 2012 elections when they can do it all over again for another four years… Goddamn it’s a good time to be conservative!

Where are the conservative comedians?

22 Dec

Driving to work today I heard about how Jon Stewart single handedly got republicans to finally give 9/11 first responders health care, after almost a decade of telling them no. I was thinking how great it was that we have guys like Stewart and the republicans have people like Rush Limbaugh , then it hit me: conservatives don’t really have any political comedians. Why is that?

Conservatives rule the radio waves and utterly fail when it comes to comedy. Liberals fail on the radio, but are the kings of comedy. Why is that? Why is it that the format of radio works better for conservatives whereas the format of comedy and satire work best for liberals?

I think the answer is obvious, short, and blunt: Conservatives are blow-hards.

Ya, ya, not all conservatives are blow-hards. I know plenty who are very nice people, but as a general rule, the majority of them have a stick up their ass and are so authoritarian they don’t understand satire. The format of an overweight pill popping bigot screaming into his microphone about gays, feminists, blacks, and the ALCU straight to an eager audience of drones waiting for instructions  works perfectly for the conservative message of conformity, order, and respect for authority. It doesn’t work so well for people who are trying to step back from the world and examine the absurdity of what’s happening.

Political humor is great for that, for taking deadly serious issues and pulling us out of that serious mindset so we can really see what’s going on. Stopping, thinking, and making jokes at authority’s expense is antithetical to the conservative mindset of “march in line.”

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying there are no conservatives who are comedians, being conservative doesn’t prevent you from having a sense of humor, but there aren’t any conservative political comedians. I think being a conservative comedian really limits your act as well. If you’re conservative, you’re probably also concerned about the “family image” and thus tend to keep your act on child friendly topics. Conservative comedians tend to avoid not only politics, but issues like sex and religion. Sure you can still be funny without mentioning those topics, but it really cuts out a huge chunk of what it is to be an adult. Sex, politics, religion, and swearing are adult issues. Adults want to hear things that are relevant to their lives. We get coddled and sheltered as children; part of being an adult is coming to terms with those issues and dealing with them. I can’t help but feel that the conservatives who are made uneasy by such things are stuck in an immature state.

Instead of trying to elaborate further, I think it’s only appropriate to let a comedian get my point across. Here’s Lewis Black on conservatives and humor:

Laws are NOT based off the 10 Commandments

10 Dec

The good Christian congressman from the proud state of Texas, Dan Flynn, has introduced a bill aiming to place “the” 10 Commandments in public schools. Let’s cut the bullshit and drop the pretensions people. We all know this is an attempt to erect a monument to the Christian religion on public school property. There is no sense trying to cover it up by saying “Oh, but “the” 10 Commandments are the basis for all of Western law! It’s just honoring the importance that they played in forming our legal system!”

First of all, “the” 10 Commandments was given to Jews in the Middle East, not twinkling blue eyed Englishmen.  Pagan Rome and their legal code, which was spread all over the West for a thousand years, had a hell of a lot more influence in our modern “Western” legal system.

Secondly, which 10 Commandments? That’s right, in case you haven’t read the bible (which is likely since very few who claim to believe in it have actually done so) there are two sets of 10 Commandments and they say different things.

(Click to enlarge)


The funny thing is that the first set of stone tables, the ones most people imagine of when they think “the” 10 Commandments, was smashed by Moses. God made a second set and changed the Commandments around after the first were destroyed. (But nobody remembers this or brings it up because it’s not convenient for their agenda, or they’re just plain ignorant)

So, ignoring this inconvenient fact, lets look at what exactly the laws are in “the” 10 Commandments.

  1. I am the Lord your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. You shall have no other gods before me.
  2. You Shall not make for yourself a graven image. You shall not bow down to them or serve them.
  3. You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain.
  4. Remember the sabbath day to keep it holy.

Ok, the first 4 of “the” 10 Commandments are explicit religious commands about the nature of this particular god and how you are to serve him. Now please kindly tell me what this has to do with the US Constitution, the 1st amendment separating church and state, and which of our thousands of secular laws are based on these 4 religious commands pertaining to this one particular religion? (Here’s a hint: nothing.)

5. Honor your father and your mother.

Simple enough, listen to your parents. We don’t have any laws about this, except if you are under the age of 18, so again this is largly irrelevant to our legal system.

6. You shall not kill.

7. You shall not commit adultery.

8. You shall not steal.

9. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

10. You shall not covet.

Finally, something sort of related to our laws, but here’s the catch: these are universal concepts. I often hear Christians say “The 10 Commandments are the basis for morality!” to which I respond “Murder, stealing, and perjury were wrong before they were ever written down in stone.” Those are really the only three commandments that have any bearing on our legal system, 6,8, and 9. Three! Three out of ten! Adultery is not a crime in our legal system. (And thank goodness because it’s human nature to cheat (unfortunately) and in the countries that do have it as a crime, they often stone the women to death and let the men go)

As for #10, I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume that our good congressman Dan Flynn, being a republican, is a big fan of free market capitalism. Capitalism, the economy, everything would fall apart if people did not covet other people’s possessions. Do you want to destroy capitalism Mr. republican congressman? Didn’t think so.

So now that we’ve established that 40% of this document is comprised of religious edicts, 10% on how to treat your parents, 10% on sexual conduct, 10% on destroying capitalism, and only 30% on concepts that are universal in morality, does this religious document (if it ever existed at all since we don’t have the originals and there are no mentions of it outside of the myth that mentions it) belong in public schools or on public property as a monument to one particular faith? No. If you’re going to erect a monument to one faith on government property, then you must erect a monument to all faiths on government property. To not do so would be to favor one religion over another, and the constitution (which I’m sure Mr. Flynn claims to adore, just like so many other conservatives) strictly forbids such action in the very first line of the very first amendment.

 

Liberal mentality vs Conservative mentality

6 Dec

So as the holiday season is upon us and millions of Americans are out of work, the debate about over extending tax cuts for the richest people in the country and slashing aid to the poorest rages on. Yes, the “reduce the deficit” conservatives are adamant that we must add trillions of dollars onto the deficit so the richest people can become even richer while at the same time stop the aid that helps put food on the table of millions of Americans. Yep, winter is coming and if you’re out of work with a family to feed, soon you’ll be forced to choose between the heating bill and putting food on the table. The “reduce the deficit” conservatives are adamant that the best way to shrink the deficit is to cut social services, especially those that help poor people.

I’ve talked about this before, but all those conservatives refuse to even bring up the fact that we spend over a trillion dollars on war. Defense spending is the largest part of our budget, yet it is the holy cow. It is obvious that conservatives feel every social program aimed at bettering people’s lives should be cut before anyone dare thinking about cutting defense.

I’m furious about this. Nobody ever brings up cutting defense. I wonder how much we could improve our country and the lives of the people living in it if we invested that money into us instead of war. But no, we can’t touch that trillion dollars because the thought of killing dark skinned foreigners with expensive gadgets gives conservatives such a massive erection.

I think this really speaks to the difference between liberal and conservative priorities. Liberals want their tax dollars to save lives, conservatives want them to take lives. Liberals want to increase education funding, education is the #1 thing conservatives love to cut (gee, I wonder why), liberals want to fight the root causes of crime, conservatives prefer just to lock more people up (and then privatize prisons so they can make a fortune doing so) , liberals want to let women choose when they have children, conservatives want to force them to have unwanted children just so they can grow up to commit crimes and get the death penalty later. I swear, it just makes me want to smash my head through the drywall.

 

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